The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

22:40 May 23 2017
Times Read: 118

I think it may be just time for me to go.

Ill be back, sometime maybe. .

22:29 May 23 2017
Times Read: 121

Luciefer.

Mh. Ja

Wtf is up with that.

Ive been a demon magnet ever since.
And its not like we get along.

Whats the point?

Its not like i can get it answered by this planets idiots.
So why bother.

This and that.

21:41 May 23 2017
Times Read: 123

Twiztid - in hell.
...

Yaassss, cus monoxide got the sexiest voice ever there :D
Woof!
Mh Ja.. They still gets to me


Music ♥

21:32 May 23 2017
Times Read: 125

Når først du rigtig elsker, finder du din undergang.

19:16 May 23 2017
Times Read: 133

Always, i promise.
Nothing can take it away.
Not even you.

Cus i am hopeless like that..

09:59 May 23 2017
Times Read: 155

When you have a bromance and you are a girl

18:36 May 22 2017
Times Read: 165

Sometimes it takes some of me to keep hope and respect in you.
And makes.me wonder why i still have it.

14:04 May 22 2017
Times Read: 179

Im just gonna keep callig your name, till you come back home ♥

10:01 May 22 2017
Times Read: 184

Its kinda hard to find any proper sophisticated clothing anywhere when youre the size of a 14 year old lol...

23:58 May 20 2017
Times Read: 201

Funny how some people thinks everything is about them.

23:32 May 20 2017
Times Read: 202

Sometimes you have to play the role of a fool.
To fool the fool
Who thinks theyre fooling you.

23:19 May 20 2017
Times Read: 205

Those were some dumb fucking words.
Coming from you
- im disappointed.

I cant blame you much though, right?
You're "just" human.
But you shouldnt lecture of what youve never known.

Its like loosing hope
While wondering how i still have it.

Nah ah, dum dig.

23:02 May 20 2017
Times Read: 209

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside,
In order to be reborn,
A stronger and wiser version of you.

21:40 May 20 2017
Times Read: 214

Du er savnet..



thats it.

20:04 May 20 2017
Times Read: 219

a wise fool once asked me.

then how are you not?

..

exacly.. was my answer.

.

If the fool figured theres still hope for me.

12:02 May 20 2017
Times Read: 220

Because they make me 'woof' inside ;) ♥
..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp1T_lfLR0o

22:10 May 19 2017
Times Read: 232

It is truly a blessing to not give a fuck.

18:00 May 19 2017
Times Read: 243

If you dont like what you see or hear - your lips dissapear.

12:25 May 19 2017
Times Read: 270

So my brother is back trying to connect with the family.
Well knowing we are all a bunch of dusfunctionals, tragedy's and weirdos.
Including him.

I hope he gets to experience the love he sought for.
But in order to do that he would have to put the past behind him.
If he doesnt, it is bound to go wrong.


I had a few times to see and talk and bond with him again.
And he tell me his thoughts and feelings, opening up.
I see exacly how he feel, understand he is the way he is
.
I just dont know how to tell him to move on.
And get behind the past. As he will be hurting our mother
me and our sister. I dont want to see that happend
Thing is.. It happends.
And my world crumble when those few i love are hurt by those i love
Because this family so broken i cant do shit about it.
Vengefull and raging
A wounded soul.
Stuck in what feels like
A lost path.
Longing for family and love.


I hope you find it brother.
But you gotta let go of the beast inside.

Love aint a beast.
Its the only thing that aint.
Fuck the rest. Do what you must
But lets keep it clean in the family shall we?
You dont want to trigger this beast and make a monster
Either..


Jeg elsker dig din satan! :D
Husk det.

- lucie

23:12 May 14 2017
Times Read: 298

Dare game.


I have a soft spot on the upper back.
It gets tingly or sends a strain of feeling down mu back
If touched lightly. or someone gets close unexpectedly.
I have come to encounter i either chook and step a step away
Or gets sedused slightly. Depending on who and what.

I do not rest within myself and im not a happy person
I can laugh and have fun but mostly i hide behind a mask.
Its a mess beneath it.

I have birthmarks.
Born with red marks in my hands.
Who split up and changed position as
I grew up, so now i have a few tiny red birthmarks on my hands.
Also, a swollen blood red scar to my upper hip.
Whom later went down and turned to pale fragile skin.

Im a redhead.
Cant run from that.

In the past and lately ive been having demon dreams
Or so i like to call em.
I feel dark entityes and i gets protective and turn into them
And growl but in a hiss way, i react with that . and energy flows through me of
Fear, anger and rage as i hiss towards them.
Im not sure if its my brain or a spirit.
Or i like to be in denial.
Its easyer right?
I still havent found whom to help me


Demon dreams are not new to me
But they come in many forms.
Atleast ive also had angel dreams in the past

Its weird.
I didnt grow up or raised in religion. Or anything that looks like it

I live in hel and im freaked out by life and death.

Earth. I used to love it
Then i woke up.
Now i just want it

But ill always lose
Cus this angel was not once a demon
She still is.
Possesion

Riddle you this
Riddle you that.
Only wise human figure.

23:11 May 12 2017
Times Read: 321

If id be to speak of my good side.

Id say, this devil was not once an angel
She still is.
Id say that id like to benefit you or your life.
Say that im loyal, caring and protective.
That im a light in the dark
Id say that i want to heal you
That if i love you, id want to take your
Emotional pain so you wouldnt have to carry it..
That id spread my wings, wrap them around you
And make it all go away

But that, is just my angel.
And it is she, whom is caged today.

The dark i became is no wonder
And that is, shame to say
Complete opposite to what above.

She wants to be seen
But remain hidden
Her truth is
For mortal forbidden.

Ramblings.
Just cus i can.

08:10 May 12 2017
Times Read: 332

You're waiting to die, im waiting to live.

23:49 May 11 2017
Times Read: 338

How do you show someone real love when you dont know what it feels like?

~ Dexter.

21:09 May 11 2017
Times Read: 341

I just cant help but see horror and tragic and darkness in everything.
i dont know how to be conftable in myself, its like i want to unleash it
and when i am i am conftable its because im numb
to thought and emotion.. there is no joy anymore.
i dont know where to go in my life and which path to choose

i dont know how to rest in myself and life.

i can be one person one minute another the next.
well aware of it.

I have so many talents and abilityes but im too down
to use it for any..

when you've come to the point where you're damaged enough
and cannot help yourself.
well knowing i had this coming my whole life.

when you feel and see everything 4-10 times more
than 'normal' human beings.
you react, thinks, say, do, feel etc
those times more too..

you do, become a dark mess.

i have depression
borderline personality disorder
psychopathy
(yes that is possible, fool)


those 3 diagnosis containt severel areas or states of their own.

the depression comes from being borderline. and the hell it is.
i was neglected, simply not cared for, in a loving healthy way
growing up. family relations or parents were not abusing me,
just neglected me.
i was abused, by different people. kidnapped. etc
while i just ran off, lived here and there and had no one
to take care of me..
those things damage you, in such ways as first of, i never learned
to develop a normal regualar emotional system..
i am even really out of line emotional, or total detached from emotions
ptsd and trauma is also a part of it.
those are rare but it always linger in the back of my mind..

Im used to being hurt.
im used to hurting others.
and myself.

it is like being severel people in one person.
i have diagnosis, but it is not all of me.

ive lived on my own since i was 16.
i still had no one to care for me through my life.
i guess it is the reason..
due to the lack of love.
and constant danger.


a monster was made..

what will become of me?
will i unleash it?
or will i tame it?

no one, but it.
is there for me in the end.

08:31 May 11 2017
Times Read: 346

When you cant find the "black sheep" in the family
Cus youre all it..

Hmm

08:28 May 11 2017
Times Read: 347

They think im cute.. Thats funny
If only they knew. They are looking in the eyes
Of a monster.

Disquise.
My protector...

08:20 May 11 2017
Times Read: 350

Ive found to dislike when, i rather so rarely open up and finally
Explain how it is, how my life been, or how i see and feel things.
Or the lack of.
Some people, take rather litely or have an positive point of view.
Which i cant shun at all. But
Do they lack a complete ability of insight or?
I mean understanding would be good.
Everyone that knows what its like when theres
Trouple deep in your soul knows
That it aint cool, likeable nor positive.

And then you just spend time explaining stuff to an idiot.

Who think its awesome.
When everything in my is screaming for better.
Bound in hel ena aint no one coming to rescue me
This time.
Those that dare enter are easyly chased out or eaten.

The whitlwind inside is getting bigger

Im a mess.

Words words words
But riddles and wonders
Impulsibe ramblings.

14:00 May 10 2017
Times Read: 363

lucíefer hel ena shak ra crown torn
Lin summmer .
Words words words
But riddles and wonders.

Red hair, pale skin , little fangs
Troubled soul.
Why did they choose me?

Was it because of my ancestry?
Or was it because i died
And they saw a body to take.
Is it because of me?
Or coincidences?

How would o react to the fackt that i can no longer deny
I feel demonic. Realising that it had now
A hold inside of me
I had never thought i would turn out this dark
Allready. I had the light in me..
Holfing onto it tight. Keeping an balance.
Without my light, there is no going back.

Ive had so much stuff happend to me over
The years and it taught me well
Theres no doubt my light is strong
Otherwise id be consumed by now
Grasping onto whats left wanting
To rise, but all i see is this world
Ending and reason to hate human kind

The universe and anything
We sre as fragile as some can be
All you can do is try to have fun
While youre here.

Its not nice. This world, life, all this masses
Itswickefly crazy, think about it.
This is hell.

Who should i reach for?
Priests? Psychics? Mediums?
Well do come forward if you are one.

Im troupled to the point of feeling like tick tock and then shits gonna go down.

These impulsive words may not be great
But for now all i can do is
Share the bits and pieces.

Come out, come out, whereever you are.

Impulsive ramblings. Notes, words, whateveer, goodmorning
10:04 May 10 2017
Times Read: 368

Im hiding out in plain sight.
i have not much to hide, but a monster.
Am i so different that i cannot be understood?
Because thats how i feel.
It makes me look down on people.
And make me look down on myself.

I blow minds when i speak out to people
But i dont care to say anything

Its become a sence of giving up
On people.
And waiting for those "wicked" enough to have an ability
Of insight. Well knowing i most likely wont like them
And cut them off.
Because i want way more than what i have.
And rather few people can manage to stay in this ones life.


My own personal nemesis, me and i.
Wicked and dark
Good and bright
Even at times
Evil.

It had been easyer being normal.
To not feel the demons and have em take over
To not wonder over lifes, the world and universe existence
To not get freaked out over everything cus everything is crazy
Sometimes i loose it, loose myself. And stop up and think
What the fuck is this? Where how why am i, And i dont like the outcome when i questiom
Myself that..

Ignorance is bliss..
..

Is it time to summon the elder for answers?
Do i once again open what is closed?
I dont feel like it. But what other options do i have?
I have questions for the other side.
I dont want to risk open up the thing in me that is shut down
I guess i have to figure a way to reach the spirits through another.

All i need is some guidance but i wont have it in myself as long.as i
Have closed off that in me.
.
Im crazy, except im not.
Mh ja, dont mind me
Im just rambling.

22:25 May 09 2017
Times Read: 376

To be intelligent
But emotionally unstable
Times 4
Or complete detached.

To be crazy
But sane
Just unhumane
Except i found the light
I wanted to bring it upon
Everyone. To make them happy
So that i could get success and maybe
In the end live a joyable life..

But i fell, and i fell hard
Went to hide out to heal
And broken but stiched
I get up and try again
I will never give up
The light in my heart
I might fail.
Because now im darkness.
Wanting power for good intentions
But selfish reasons.
I dont give much for many but those i love
Cus im far from in the position to do that now.

I woke up in a blast.
Confused and scared
My awakening were unexpected
I had no clue which spirit had hold of me
Who i were.

From the beginning dark wanted me
Here on earth brought up in it
Grown in it and learned in it
My wings
Their wings
They were not the same.

I cant quite depend on myself in this state of half automatic writing
To explain myself right, so that it will be understood, or believed
But this is my reality,
Or atleast just a bits and pieces

Bloody memories.

I could describe in detail.
But i rather not.
Not unless i know you can handle it.
The crazy thing about people is that they lack a total sence of awhole lot and
You still think im the crazy one.

(This is not meant to make completely sence)

21:43 May 09 2017
Times Read: 386

You wouldnt see the monster even if its right infront of you
And that, is my biggest advantage

I would.

17:57 May 08 2017
Times Read: 431

I dont even care much anymore
To put stuff on my profile or journal much
Nor very dedicated to talk to many.
Why am i still here?

I know.
But i found it hard to admit it to myself.
Its ridicilous.
I was holding onto a lie.

I got nothing against vampire rave.
At all.
Ive just lost generel interrest.

I might put on stuff once in awhile.
To maybe answer a message here and then.
But i wont get personally close, with any.

What once was is now gone.
Im out.

Oh btw. Awesome with some changes and updates on the site.

Story notes.
21:27 May 05 2017
Times Read: 448




Not edited.



I layed down to chill on my bed, back flat to close my eyes.

The second i did it, shadows of, faces appeared in the black.of my closed eyes.

Noices of voices or ish.



I had no clue what was going on so i just

Looked further curiously

Allured into the dark hands of demons

I had no clue that they wanted me.



Of a sudden i couldnt move, but i could see.

My bed noises as someone going on it

I feel a person on me, but i see but a vage shadow

He bend on me to what feels like he tryed to

Bite or suffocate me. I managed to say stop it in a calm matter

On english

Feeling surreal in the sutuation

And surprisingly he did. But now i didnt see any

But felt and heard the weight of him leave the bed

I started to be able to move and see clearly again

I looked to the side.

To see a shadow look back at me

Drop a piece of clothing of mine,

And be gone like the wind.

That was the first time



It lasted 4 days



..

story notes.
00:51 May 05 2017
Times Read: 459

''Because your light is strong enough to hold him''

who?

''we call him darkstar''



she looked at him not sure what he meant

and thought to herself



now everything falls into place, in a wicked way that i dont like, this cannot be true, this guy is scgizophrenic

or what that his disquise? in hiding the real him



? .



.........



Demonic awakening.



.

I had started on a school in the city i moved to when i met them, the brothers.

It was like dejavu, without being it.

I had seen those two before.. not knowing where.



I had bursted out, you look very familiar

i know your face but i dont remember from where.



''we met once at the station in the city, you and your sister''



and then it came back to me,



- Youre right, but we only walked passed eachother, why would i know your face from that, and you me?



it was a day after one of the first days at the school.

suddenly the girl i had started class with walked out

and went to the guy, oh i see you've guys met, she said smirking a friendly smile.



i had exchanged a few words with her during class and she had been open and friendly towards me..



sit down, she said while she sat on a bench with table

give me your hand, i looked weird at her but immediately

i was interrested. this is was a direction i could relate to.

i knew what she was going to do.



i sat down and gave her my hand

she felt, and said hmm, the guy ''alexander'' sat down next to her, feel this, she said, and he took my hand.

mhhhh, yes.. he said.. and they looked at eachother..





to be continued.

00:27 May 05 2017
Times Read: 464

Its been 5 years since all the memories came back

10 years since the actual event happened

Now i cant seem to forget it

8 years since my own awakening began



Did i have to die to become this?

My heart is still beating

Even though you noticed the iregularity of it



I woke up in the night, in the arms of a stranger.

walking on the street, not knowing how i ended up there

or where we were heading, not knowing, anything at all..



he sat me down as he noticed i woke, follow me he said.

i did, without questioning it.

under his spell



I was just a kid

In the claws of a vampire



This is my story...









To be continued

01:12 May 03 2017
Times Read: 480










I want it.. no, i need it.



Im not hungry im dry.



my only light in darkness



fallen and fragile.



but its better that way



they must not know my name.



..



An angel sent from heaven high



sent to earth with no wings to fly



and though she seem dark and shy



though how easyly she say goodbye



inside her grew a power unbound



of all the wisdom profound



always searching for an heart to keep



ut inside her the monster sleep



an lonely heart among the mortal sheep



the definition of an angel shell always be



youll find in her soul what eyes cant see



the devil within her will always agree



that her being should always be free



She wish to be seen but remain hidden



her truth is for mortal forbidden.