|
Blog
Goings on
| | | |
July 2011
39 entries this month
2176 total entries
Honor: 2,536 [ Give / Take ]
Clarity?
17:48:07 - Jul 30 2011
Times Read: 193
Last night's talk with Neel helped me gain some perspective and create a solution to what has been creating this huge cluster fuck at home.
|
|
17:26:53 - Jul 30 2011
Times Read: 195
Aaaaannnnnndddd...... The new tenants' children do not listen.
Lovely.
|
|
20:43:33 - Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 207
Things have been pretty hectic around here. My older sister arrived last minute on Saturday night and everything went down hill from there.
I was an idiot and sent a text to a friend I hadn't meant to, and now I actually have to explain to him how I feel as opposed to just keeping the friendship as is, and saving my pride.
Fortuately I have finished 90% of my asignments, and have the next week to slow down before I graduate.
I have been doing overtime at placement, so have over 600 hours already, and still have two weeks to go. Monday is a holiday thank goodness.
I have changed my plans about Dubai. I'll be going for about a month, for a break. Then I will be returning to 'Sauga, to get a second job and find a place closer to the UTM campus, away from my sisters.
This will give me the chance to start one or two personal projects that I have purposely, and not so purposely been putting off.
|
|
19:36:29 - Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 212
Worst essay i've written...
Paraphila (S and M) and it's place in Modern sexuality
Overview
In this paper I will be discussing Paraphilia and its place in modern sexuality. My purpose for this paper will be to explain that the definition of sexual deviance has changed as that sexual paraphilia now has a place in modern sexuality. I will argue that the perception of ‘normal sexuality’ has warped and developed to mirror more modern societal views. In this paper I will attempt to explain how ideas of sexual deviance and perceived ‘normal’ sexual behaviours have changed, and the more important question of why they have changed. Lastly, I will challenge that sexual paraphilia has a place in modern sexuality and that it is becoming a bigger part of mainstream sexuality.
Paraphilia is the term used to describe sadism and masochism within a sexual context, more commonly known and S and M. The term sexual deviance has always been and will continue to be a relative term, although in the past sexual behavior was clearly defined as involving penile- vaginal intercourse. However as society’s priorities have changed, so has the classification of sexual deviance. In the past, sexual deviant activities have included such behaviours such as homosexuality, fetishism, transvestic fetishism, sexual masochism/ sadism, exhibitionism etc. Included in this list at the extreme end of the continuum is pedophilia, incest and rape (E. Haeberl,2010). We see today that such behavious that may be classed under the label of transvestic fetishism, fetishism and sexual sadism are being explored in today’s media through entertainment artists such as Rhianna, or in movies like “The Secretary”. Entertainment venues are now catering to the demand of people who wish to engage in these so called deviant behaviours.
The acceptance and exploration of this area of sexuality in mainstream society proves that the idea of sexuality has shifted once again. Only in the last few decades has oral sexual stimulation become an acceptable sexual practice amongst couples (MedOnline, 2010). Paraphilia is now emerging and becoming a prominent part of society’s idea of sexuality. In the past sexuality in society has been influenced by many things that were not necessarily connected to the sexual relationship itself. Things such as religion, social taboos, civil and criminal laws, partisan politics, intellectual fads and fashions, lobbying by powerful interest groups, media, film and television, and of course the internet. This still holds true today. In order to understand the acceptance of sexual behaviours, this paper will make the connections between the paraphilic behaviours and the changes taking place in society and government.
Evolution of Sexual Deviance
The degree in which sexuality has been discussed in a public forum has always relied on the norms set out by government and society itself. Less than 50 years ago it was inappropriate for a male and a female to sleep in the same bed together unless married. If a couple were to be found engaging in sexual activity without being married, the couple would be ostracized, criticized and shunned. Throughout the past few decades society’s views on what is sexually appropriate and inappropriate has changed drastically. Homosexuality has become a perceived ‘normal’ sexual relationship. “Normal” in the societal context is what is deemed appropriate by the majority in a culture, not the minority. Which is what we face in the S and M community. We are the minority in a society that views pain and sex in the same sentence as vulgar and unnecessary. Many members of the BDSM community are thought to have mental health problems and are deemed ‘abnormal.’ But what happens when the Abnormal, becomes a mainstream part of society?
If we go back to the late 1700’s we are introduced to the works of Marquis De Sade who focused his writings on the liberty and morality of sexuality. He combined philosophical discourse with pornography, violence and what is considered today to be modern day fetishism. (Stuart 2002) At some point he was imprisoned for Blasphemy, a serious offense then, but now? Not so much. Again, another reflection of the change in societal values in relation to what we will allow and deem appropriate or forgivable.
Mainstream
In today’s media it sexuality is plastered all over the television, radio and internet. Ratings on music channels and highly sexualized content in movies are receiving more critical acclaim rather than anything that is artistically promoted. Albeit artistic value is something that is perceived by each individual, one has to look at the way our values and priorities are being portrayed in ‘artistic mediums’. We also see that paraphilia is starting to have a more prominent place in sexuality, it is showing up in movies, at entertainment venues and in mainstream music. For example, Rhianna, in her S and M video which talks explicitly about deriving pleasure from pain. Or in the movie “The Secretary” which portrayed a dominant, submissive relationship and the evolution of that relationship throughout the movie.
There are a multitude of websites online that now cater to the fetish community such as Fetlife.com, and Subspace.com. There are upwards of 150, 000 on each site, just for the Ontario region alone. Venues across the country have opened up their entertainment sites to host parties and public forums that cater to the education and mingling of the fetish community. If this community is such a minority, why is it becoming such a main part of sexuality and society?
Linkage
There is a direct link between the evolution and acceptance of sexual behaviours that once may have been considered ‘deviant; or ‘abnormal’. This link is the involvement of government and religion in the sexuality of a culture. For example, in China the government is trying to eradicate pornographic sites because it is deemed to be disgusting. In Saudi Arabia, the bare skin of a men and women is considered to be a sacred part of the body. In Western Culture however, sex is a lightly used term. Thrown around with little weight and used in regular conversation.
Our society is no longer governed by mass religious institutions and even our politicians are becoming involved in sexual scandals. This proves that our priorities have shifted. Each person is vying for instant gratification. They are searching for pleasure in every aspect of their life and are avoiding any type of negativity or pain in their lives. Classic Marquis De Sade, or hedonistic behaviour. People are becoming desensitized, looking for new, more extreme ways to explore their sexuality. This is where paraphila comes into play. S and M is all about setting boundaries, pushing limits and blurring the line between pain and pleasure. It is about exploring power plays and the relationships between authority and inferiors.
Culture has always been an evolution of power. Be it from God, to emperors, to Kings and then finally to politicians, and then its citizens. Now more than ever, people in society feel lost and unheard by the authorities that run the country and make the rules. In and S and M relationship, they can exersize control, even in a small interpersonal way. More and more people are catching on to this type of thinking and their sexual desires are reflecting that which is going on in society. People are no longer looking for love, the type of love that Ero’s first depicted. They are looking for a physical connection, because they are walking around this world disconnected and unheard. They feel inferior. In a D/s relationship they can regain control, have a close intimacy that is not shared on any other level in any other type of relationship. It can connect the people to the world again.
Conclusion
The family unit, partnerships, relationships and lastly sexuality are things that have always evolved with the changing attitudes of society. Today we are always searching for instant gratifications, no longer willing to make sacrifices to better our souls and expand our minds. We are desensitized by the things we see on the television and in movies. Paraphila is becoming more mainstream because it is no longer deemed sexually devaint behavior. People are willing to try new things and seek out their desires in an uninhibited type of way, much like Marquise De Sade because our society revolved around the need for instant gratification. Sadly, that is the ‘norm’ for today’s society.
|
|
17:55:38 - Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 218
Sometimes the voyeuristic nature of fetish can take away from the intimacy that really speaks to a D/S relationship. I still like a bit of public play from time to time.
We can be our own worst enemies in regards to our reactions to social situations sometimes. It's all left up to perception, if we don't perceive the judgement being aimed at us, maybe it will seize to exist ;)
|
|
lmfao
15:21:36 - Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 222
|
|
hehehehehe
15:20:56 - Jul 29 2011
Times Read: 223
|
|
17:06:48 - Jul 28 2011
Times Read: 228
I have always liked narrative therapy. I find the best way to get to understand the in’s and out’s of clients and their lives is to let them tell their story. At placement I find that so many youth come in, and we lose track of the bigger picture of the youth and what is going on in their lives. When a youth comes to us and makes a connection with a staff, we have to let them tell their stories. We do this in a number of ways, through counseling, poems, life-skills etc. When a youth first comes to us, we let them write their autobiography and then elaborate on their thoughts with them in multiple sessions.
I find that when we lose the bigger picture of the youth, we forget where they came from and what their story is. With narrative therapy, and one on one counseling sessions everyday I am able to remain objective and not forget where the youth came from. They tell bits and pieces of their stories and I better understand their thought processes, the triggers and origins of their behaviours. Once I have accomplished this I am able to help them see what I see, and perhaps modify their reactions and behaviours so that they can grow and change.
The growth I see in them is paramount and I feel it is because the youth feel they are finally being heard by staff, and better understand their story and where they come from. I see that for people, not just youth but everyone, it is easy to forget where we came from and what lead us to where we are now. Everyone has a story and everyone should be given an opportunity to tell it. The end result being that we know ourselves better, and can portray ourselves sbetter to the outside world without getting confused or side tracked by the little things that life throws at you.
|
|
16:41:00 - Jul 28 2011
Times Read: 229
I am a fucking idiot.
|
|
00:33:48 - Jul 24 2011
Times Read: 278
So I get home after an 8 hour shift t find a msg from my sis who moved to DR with her douche BF....
She arrives here at Pearson @ midnight. Janet and I have arranged and in the midst of a house party...
Life throws you so many fucking curve balls. But they don't always suck.
|
|
04:44:01 - Jul 23 2011
Times Read: 285
I hate that hope can take you so very high, and drop you down so low.
|
|
18:32:59 - Jul 22 2011
Times Read: 289
I took my sister Go Karting, it was her first time. I had the lead for the first two rounds, she took me over the 3rd, we tied in 4th and I won in the 5th :)
Getting rid of stuff from my apartment today, that i don't need or am not taking to Dubai. Ended up spring cleaning and rousting a few spiders from their homes.
Work, and then the pub tonight. House party tomorrow!!!
|
|
15:43:48 - Jul 22 2011
Times Read: 292
One more payment and my sears Credit card is paid!!! Thank goodness. And I'm two months ahead on my cell bill :) And a month ahead on all my other bills too.
with $400 in the bank!!!!!
Still have to pay my visa thooough.... lol
|
|
15:16:39 - Jul 22 2011
Times Read: 293
WOOOO Camping again in four weeks!!
|
|
Beastly
01:48:16 - Jul 21 2011
Times Read: 314
I always had a thing for the odd one out.
|
|
00:41:47 - Jul 21 2011
Times Read: 316
The witch from Hansel and Gretel is seriously misunderstood. here she is, minding her own business in her dream candy house. And two brats come along and start eating it!
|
|
02:51:31 - Jul 20 2011
Times Read: 324
Soooooooooooooo tired. Had some great conversations at placement about relationships, the differences between men and women and so on. It was great :) Went go karting as well!!!! Finishing up an assignment tomorrow and then I get a half day :)
3 more weeeeeeeeeeeeeeks!!!!!!!!
|
|
23:06:50 - Jul 18 2011
Times Read: 341
This is hard to listen to, read or understand.... But you have to. Rape is not just a concern for the female population, but men as well.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/jul/17/the-rape-of-men#post-area
|
|
Family
04:00:38 - Jul 17 2011
Times Read: 378
I think I finally understand the psychological process of a 'hoarder'. The people who lived upstairs for just over a year moved out today. For over 6 months the garage has been FILLED with their stuff. The garage also doubles as my entrance way to my basement apartment....
EVERY TIME I would walk into it, I would trip over something, or have to squeeze past their suitcases or furniture from Peru or whatever...
Now that the garage is empty... I feel empty. I miss them. They were so nice to my sister and I. They looked out for us and always ALWAYS made me smile when I saw them.
Yes, they were heavy footed people and I cursed them once or twice when I was trying to sleep at 7am on a rare day off... but I am going to miss them quite badly.
I guess the theme of the year 2011 for me is missing family. My family at AWN when I leave for Dubai, my little family at school when we all graduate... my adoptive Peruvian family from upstairs... My sister... :(
And perhaps maybe even the VR community, depending on what websites The ministry of Social Affairs in the UAE has decided NOT to restrict.
|
|
04:36:42 - Jul 16 2011
Times Read: 398
I have been so busy I forgot to hook up utilities for the house for the time between the old renters moving out and the new renters coming in.... Fuck!!!!!!! Luckily they will keep the services on for the weekend and then first thing Monday morning, I'll have to give them a call to hook everything up under my name again. This week just crept the hell up on me and I just didn't register... I hate my brain.
|
|
18:19:45 - Jul 15 2011
Times Read: 405
WOOT one of my most daunting tasks for my most redundant classes is almost complete!! YES!!!
|
|
15:49:52 - Jul 15 2011
Times Read: 409
Having a seriously down day. Not entirely sure why. I can't focus and I don't want to talk to anyone so I am lucky that the girls I usually hang with at school ALL didn't come in today. Just want to cry but am having a hard time finding time alone to do that. Hopefully this is just female hormones at their best.
|
|
02:19:26 - Jul 14 2011
Times Read: 430
Niagra Falls on Monday with the kids from my placement. Only 4 weeks left.
I seem to have found my mojo again, I have more energy at the end of the day. I am not just trudging through the day like usual but taking on new tasks and completing them :)
Wednesdays seem to be my "Run errands after placement" day because I can't do anything else the rest of the week!! Tuesday after placement is reserved for acupuncture and it's made me feel amazing!
In total I'm working or going to school 80 hours a week. Cannot wait to be just working :) but then, I am not going to know what to do with myself.
|
|
11:12:48 - Jul 12 2011
Times Read: 469
The only thought that saves me in the mornings is that I get to nap on the GO train on the way into Toronto. And on the Subway from union to Kennedy :)
|
|
14:19:04 - Jul 09 2011
Times Read: 501
OK night last night, but the regular club scene isn't my thing anymore. Great news though, the new club we went to called Stiletto, one of my friends is the co- owner!! Free drinks all night and free admission!! VIP! Bomski :)
And now, for work!
|
|
Philosophy of Love and Sex: Paraphilia and It's Place in Modern Sexuality
18:28:39 - Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 527
Research Proposal
Overview
In this paper I will be discussing Paraphilia and its place in modern sexuality. My purpose for this paper will be to explain that the definition of sexual deviance has changed as the view on ‘normal sexuality’ has warped and developed to mirror more modern societal views. In this paper I will attempt to explain how ideas of sexual deviance and ‘normal sexual behaviours’ have changed, and the more important question of why. Lastly, I will be examining what Paraphilia’s place in modern sexuality is now, and why it is becoming a bigger part of mainstream sexuality.
The term sexual deviance has always been and will continue to be a relative term, although in the past sexual behavior was clearly defined as involving penile- vaginal intercourse. However as society’s priorities have changed, so has the classification of sexual deviance. In the past, sexual deviant activities have included such behaviours as homosexuality, fetishism, transvestic fetishism, sexual masochism/ sadism, exhibitionism etc. Included in this list at the extreme end of the continuum is pedophilia, incest and rape (E. Haeberl,2010). We see today that such behavious that may be classed under the label of transvestic fetishism, fetishism and sexual sadism are being explored in today’s media through entertainment artists such as Rhianna, or in movies like “The Secretary”. Entertainment venues are now catering to the demand of people who wish to engage in these so called deviant behaviours.
The acceptance and exploration of this area of sexuality in mainstream society proves that the idea of sexuality has shifted once again. Only in the last few decades has oral sexual stimulation become an acceptable sexual practice amongst couples (MedOnline, 2010). Paraphilia is now emerging and becoming a prominent part of society’s idea of sexuality. In the past sexuality in society has been influenced by many things that were not necessarily connected to the sexual relationship itself. Things such as religion, social taboos, civil and criminal laws, partisan politics, intellectual fads and fashions, lobbying by powerful interest groups, media, film and television, and of course the internet. This still holds true today. In order to understand the acceptance of sexual behaviours, this paper will make the connections between the paraphilic behaviours and the changes taking place in society/ government.
Research
In order to do support my statement I will be taking research from the American Psychological Association, and other online periodicals. I will compare attitudes towards certain sexual behaviours and how they have changed in correlation to society and its development. I will also be using resources from the library that contain information on Marquis De Sade and his views on sexuality, paraphilia and pleasure. I want to supply information that provides a direct correlation between attitudes towards paraphilia today, and how they mirror the societal values we give priority to.
Conclusion
At the end of this paper I want the reader to understand the direct link between sexual behaviours and societal views/ priorities. I want to explain the evolution of sexuality and how it acceptance of once ‘deviant behaviours’ mirror the growth of society itself. Lastly I would like to explore how paraphilia has found it’s place in modern sexuality, and become a mainstream part of the sexual relationship.
Refererences
E. Haeberl, (2010) Paraphilia: A prescientific Concept
Medonline (2010) Sexual Deviance
Resource from: http://www.medindia.net/patients/patientinfo/sexual-deviance.htm
|
|
17:17:50 - Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 535
Must start and finish my research proposal for my Philosophy of Love and Sex class...
I was thinking about doing 'Paraphilia and it's place in modern sexuality' Buuuut.... I have a 15 page research paper on concurrent disorders to start and finish... so maybe I should choose something a little easier that I can dash out in under an hour. Considering it's only my elective class.
I am not going to my afternoon class as I have none of the papers to hand in from my supervisor because she went on vacation. So 4 hours to kill... and work at 5 until 10... Stilletoe party after?? hmmm
|
|
12:27:15 - Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 542
WooT! Bills are paid and still have money in the bank! And one of my Thrusdya shifts are covered so I have at least one half day during the month of July Bomb!
|
|
July
04:05:09 - Jul 08 2011
Times Read: 546
Up by 5 am, in bed by midnight. Long ass month ahead of me.
|
|
03:23:52 - Jul 07 2011
Times Read: 564
You can't touch me now, I ain't coming back don't hold your breath.
|
|
03:29:03 - Jul 05 2011
Times Read: 610
Never been to the Fan Expo before but my friends asked me to go, and I am going to dress up. So far they want me to be Emma Frost????? All I know is, is that she wears a white corset and boots which I have.... and she's blonde, which I am.. so it works. I should google her but tonight... Bed!
|
|
No... you don't.
03:17:36 - Jul 05 2011
Times Read: 616
Do you ever have anything but negative stuff to say? Ever??
*siiigh*
Feel way better thanks to some good advice and me actually following it :)
|
|
Not a one.
01:48:55 - Jul 04 2011
Times Read: 628
So sick of being around myself. But who else will put up with me when I am in this mood?
|
|
heehee
01:15:01 - Jul 04 2011
Times Read: 631
I am getting soooo tired of slitting the throats of people who tell me I am a violent psychopath!
|
|
00:48:48 - Jul 03 2011
Times Read: 653
Sometimes I want to call you, but I know you won't be there. Caught up in your life, forgetting that we were ever around. We've grown and changed and you weren't here. You'll never get another chance to make the best of your shitty little world... Down the well trodden path one day, you'll stumble upon a memory. Your dead heart will beat but once and you will remember what it is you try so hard to forget.
|
|
The internet...
23:09:17 - Jul 02 2011
Times Read: 661
.. a place where you can be a douche to people anonymously and not feel guilty about it.
>;)
|
|
22:35:07 - Jul 02 2011
Times Read: 666
I have a hoarding problem, just not with things or possessions... but people. I keep people around that I don't want to be around anymore buuut can't seem to get myself to cut them out of my life. These people draw nothing but negative energy from me and give it aaalll back ten fold.
I need to stop doing this, starting today. Because it's fairly obvious these 'clutter people' don't keep me around for any good reason either.
|
|
02:39:46 - Jul 02 2011
Times Read: 675
I love it when I am able to say, that I don't care about certain things or people anymore...
It takes a load off.
|
|
Camping...
20:28:47 - Jul 01 2011
Times Read: 683
...didn't miss my cell/laptop/LIFE one bit while I was gone.
Being away from everything gave my head space to slow down and see my life from an outside perspective and come to a few conclusions about things.
We were right along Georgian bay and spent a few hours on the beach each day.
The drive there was smooth, but opening up the tent and discovering there were no poles... meant that now I have my own 5 person tent with a vestibule :)
WE managed to eat heartily and provide ourselves with fire much more easily than I thought... and I may or may not have bought too much food lol
We were attacked by a racoon which was fun, that Crystal and Danny still say was a bear...... I think they are just frightened :P
I may or may not have gotten utterly wasted one of those nights and been hung over for a few hours the next day :)
Great fun!! Can't wait for the end of august to do it again!
|
|
|
|
|
placidchaos
17:15:26
Jul 26 2011