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Blog
Goings on
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March 2009
3 entries this month
2176 total entries
Honor: 2,536 [ Give / Take ]
03:45:42 - Mar 10 2009
Times Read: 431
Most people would say it was her trust in him that drove Chrissy insane. By my account, it was her inability to do so that gave her a dabilitated mind. Although I would argue that her love for him kept her afloat a lot longer then most would have wagered.
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Gina <3
14:24:45 - Mar 06 2009
Times Read: 435
"I have all this anger and hatred bottled up inside of me and I dont know what to do with it..."
"Throw it against a wall."
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I don't know, I don't ever know....
14:21:12 - Mar 06 2009
Times Read: 436
"What's wrong?"
"I'm figuring it out."
"Figuring what out?"
"...What's wrong?"
"Uh... What?"
*sigh* "I'm figuring out what's wrong."
I don't seem to ever know what is wrong with me. When anyone asks me what's wrong my usual response is 'I dont know', and in turn they usually don't understand.
Grant and I got into another big fight last night and i couldnt sleep all night. So naturally when he woke up ths morning, i still wanted to talk about shit and was stil in a bad mood.
This is the second fight in which i have smashed something, the umpteenth fight where i have lost my temper and pretty much thrown a godzilla tantrum... Where and when does it end???
I am so sick of feeling so ashamed of my behavior, and not seemingly being able to control it. The worst part is, i have been controlling it. I have been keeping calm and talking civily about whats going on in my life, with him and in my head. But last night it just touch a last nerve and everything just exploded.
I am filled with this rage that belongs in a mother bears body, and I dont know how to handle it.
I dont want to be responsible for pushing Grant away because its the last thing I want right now. I am just afraid that my anger is an obstacle that if i can't get over, We won't be able to get over.
I am such a dissapointment to myself, and Grant does not deserve the verbal abuse i throw at him.
Where does it end?
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