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birra's Blog
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birra's Journal

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April 2012
17 entries this month
1071 total entries


Honor: 4,689    [ Give / Take ]

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[ Au ][ O ][ He ][ Ar ][ CH3CH2OH ]


Penis Awareness Month
03:37:55 - Apr 26 2012
Times Read: 99


Your Penis Fact of the Day


Odors that have been shown to increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie.

So there is a reason you should buy your significant other chocolate. And a reason why I prefer pumpkin pie on my birthday.

Oh yeah.

And this has been your penis fact of the day.

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

15:11:09
Apr 26 2012

Hmmm... Pie...



Profile for brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666

00:26:46
Apr 28 2012

What? What about the whole chicken of the sea thing?





17:02:52 - Apr 22 2012
Times Read: 118


A dear colleague that I have stayed in touch with over the years just sent me info about a job lead... I'm hopeful, and probably more excited inside than I should be.

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Profile for Vampirewitch39
Vampirewitch39

21:33:51
Apr 22 2012

*cross fingers, and hopes*



Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

23:14:01
Apr 22 2012

I'm excited too. YAY!



Profile for RedQueen
RedQueen

04:36:59
Apr 23 2012

count my crosses in too...lol



Profile for brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666

00:22:26
Apr 24 2012

This is great news. Fill me in when you have the chance.





18:12:28 - Apr 20 2012
Times Read: 149


Been busy. No time to talk about the wonders of penis... nor deal with all the trade requests in my in-box. I will work on all of that tonight.

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

19:17:32
Apr 20 2012

But... But what about MY in-box?

MWHAHAHAHA!!!



Profile for Nekirena
Nekirena

21:08:55
Apr 20 2012

O.o

I thought that particular in-box wasn't suppose to be glorified until next month? (Vay-Jay May?)

:P


Busy Birra sitting on top of a Busy Bees Nest trying to work hard with the Business of being a Busy Bee.

;)




Profile for PAGAN
PAGAN

21:49:23
Apr 20 2012

Real Vampires love Vampire Rave




Profile for birra
birra

05:27:49
Apr 21 2012

That's adorable, Pagan.

And frightening. Quite frightening...



Profile for brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666

01:43:04
Apr 22 2012

Too busy for penis awareness?!! Poser!




Penis Awareness Month
19:12:17 - Apr 15 2012
Times Read: 190


Penis Fact of the Day


It has been reported that King Fatefehi of Tonga had intercourse with 37,800 virgins between 1770 and 1784. That would average 7 virgins per day.

Al Qaeda suicide bombers are obviously unavailable for comment... but even they are jealous.

And this has been your penis fact of the day!

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

19:28:20
Apr 15 2012

I think SOMEONE was exaggerating...



Setite666

19:28:27
Apr 15 2012

King Fatefehi of Tonga is my hero. lol



Profile for brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666

22:29:49
Apr 15 2012

Is this the little island of Tonga in the South Pacific? Cause if it is, I find it hard to believe that they had 37,800 virgins on that island. Of course, I'm civilized and hoping that these virgins were 18 and over. Somehow I feel as if I'm hoping against hope.



Profile for birra
birra

22:30:06
Apr 15 2012

Maybe he counted each one for as many holes as he penetrated? Then we can reduce this to at least 12,600... possibly less depending on how creative he got....



Profile for birra
birra

22:31:30
Apr 15 2012

B - remember, back in the 1700's even in Western "civilized" cultures the legal age for marriage was as young as 12.

Still is in some "civilized" cultures.



Profile for brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666

00:56:38
Apr 16 2012

Define civilized...



Profile for birra
birra

02:53:57
Apr 16 2012

...you first.




Penis Awareness Month
01:23:25 - Apr 15 2012
Times Read: 205


Your Penis Fact of the Day


The circumcised foreskin from an infant's penis can be used to grow new skin for burn victims. One foreskin can amazingly yield up to 250,000 square feet of replacement skin!

And this has been your penis fact of the day!

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Profile for HAWK2K
HAWK2K

07:37:11
Apr 15 2012

and yet....

if I had a choice between looking like Freddy Kruger....

or use Foreskin (mine or anyone else's) to replace my burned up skin....

Um... just pass me the striped sweater and fedora.

:)

See you in your nightmares!



Profile for RedQueen
RedQueen

10:11:24
Apr 15 2012

How much do you have to rub it to get it to that size?



Profile for NightBlossom
NightBlossom

22:40:37
Apr 15 2012

All the more reason to circumcise boys.




Penis Awareness Month
01:37:06 - Apr 12 2012
Times Read: 240


Your Penis Fact of the Day


We've all heard the myths about how you can size up what a guy's penis size is... the bigger the feet... or the bigger the hands, the longer the penis.

Truth of the matter is there are no direct correlations between penis size and other anatomical sizes on a man. Large feet and large hands are not indicative of anything but needed bigger shoes and gloves.

However, research has shown that for the majority of men, there is one single anatomical match for penis size:

The measurement of the base of the metacarpal bone to the tip of the index finger, for the majority of men, is almost an exact measurement of their erect penis length.

Nothing is absolute - there will always be surprises. But this one measurement is the closest we've ever found.

And this has been your penis fact of the day!

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Profile for xRobin3x
xRobin3x

02:16:25
Apr 12 2012

well that throws the big ass threoy out the window. ya know, if theres an ass, he will be able to carry a load.....

ANYways..... >_>



Profile for brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666

00:18:59
Apr 13 2012

You're so right. That night I spent with Marty Feldman....I came up wanting.



Profile for captainglobehead
captainglobehead

14:10:53
Apr 13 2012

You know the first thing I did was measure the distance from the base of the metacarpal bone to the tip of my index finger.

Do they have to be on the same hand?



Profile for sahahria
sahahria

19:19:39
Apr 15 2012

No wonder it's always been a turn on for me if a man has nice hands :P




Penis Awareness Month
03:02:43 - Apr 11 2012
Times Read: 269


Your Penis Fact of the Day


Studies have shown, on average gay men's penises tend to be 1/3-inch longer than the population average on the whole.

In terms of evolution, this may be significant due to men being larger than women, therefore they may receive more pleasure having a larger penis or from their partner having a larger penis.

Proponents of intelligent design would argue that we're all going to hell for suggesting such a thing.

And this has been your penis fact of the day!

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

03:07:32
Apr 11 2012

*average on the hole.

^.^



Profile for birra
birra

03:25:46
Apr 11 2012

Oh, stop it.



Profile for PAGAN
PAGAN

10:11:10
Apr 11 2012

LOL@ *hole.



Profile for Requiem
Requiem

12:25:39
Apr 11 2012

>.o Heh.



Profile for KALIGULA
KALIGULA

12:46:21
Apr 11 2012

That's an interesting stat on the penis, I never knew that.

Thank you for erecting my once flaccid knowledge of the penis.






Penis Awareness Month
02:13:05 - Apr 10 2012
Times Read: 290


The Penis Fact of the Day


There are many fabled stories of the Russian Orthodox Monk, Grigori Rasputin. Everyone probably knows the stories of how he was a peasant healer brought in by the Tsar and his wife to help heal their son Alexei who was stricken with hemophilia and somehow magically healed him every time he was injured. And how he helped discredit the Tsarist government bringing an end to the Romanov dynasty. And how despite several attempts on his life, he somehow survived them all until he was finally, shot several times, beaten, bound in a rug and drowned in the Neva River.

But Urban legend has it that during this final assassination attempt, his murderers also cut off his penis, and his dismembered member (yes, I had to go for the cheap word play) had been found at the crime scene by a maid, who saved it. Ahem.

Perhaps she was lonely, I don't know...

Anyway, his penis had be used in ceremonies of worship to increase fertility and traveled around in a little wooden casket. His daughter, not fond of this part of her father being used for such practices demanded it be returned to her. Rasputin's penis reportedly stayed with her until she died in 1977. It was then purchased by a collector and sold to an auction house where upon further review they realized they had purchased a sea cucumber.

However, in 1994 the Russian Museum of Erotica claimed that they have Rasputin's penis. Igor Knyazkin, the director of the Museum, claims that he bought it from a French antiquarian for $8,000. And in a jar, pickled and on display in the museum, you can see what is supposedly Rasputin's penis, measuring flaccid at 11-inches, and reportedly was 13-inches when erect.

And this was today's Penis Fact of the Day! Or, in this case, perhaps just an urban legend, but that is some kind of penis in that jar on display...


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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

02:58:33
Apr 10 2012

THAT must have been a weird letter to write: "I demand that you return my father's penis to me."



Profile for PAGAN
PAGAN

10:45:47
Apr 10 2012

LMAO@ sea cucumber.



Profile for Requiem
Requiem

12:26:47
Apr 10 2012

thirte... Oh, hell no. o.o



Profile for KALIGULA
KALIGULA

12:47:56
Apr 11 2012

You left out that he also had his way with the Tzarina their daughters...One must be thorugh when paying homage to the monk penis.




Penis Awareness Month
21:04:34 - Apr 08 2012
Times Read: 314


Penis Fact of the Day


Every year on March 15th in Komaki, Japan, the Harvest Festival or Hōnen Matsuri is held. The celebration, like many others during the Spring season and equinox is to bestow a blessing for fertility and a prosperous harvest for the coming season.

During this ceremony, celebrators don elaborate ceremonial outfits, are invited to drink an unlimited supply of sake and receive the blessings of the Shinto priests. Along with this, the priests also bless a ceremonial 600 pound, 8-foot long phallus which is then paraded through the streets to the Takata Jinja. Once at the Takata Jinja, the phallus is spun furiously before being set down and prayed over again.

The event officials then shower the gathering with rice cakes before the day-long festival concludes... my guess is, it concludes with a lot of drunken and probably poorly performed sex...

Just a hunch.

Enjoy your holiday everyone - no matter what holiday you celebrate - they're all about wishing the best for success and prosperity for all of the people you love.

And of course, the penis/vagina aspect of these celebrations - may there be more people in your life to love in the coming year.

Happy Penis Awareness Month!

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Profile for brileybeauford666
brileybeauford666

00:57:15
Apr 10 2012

I'm ready for penis awareness month to be over. My TMJ can't take much more. (now that was funny)



Profile for birra
birra

01:09:46
Apr 10 2012

HA! Appreciate it more with your hand, va-jay-jay and well.. try some other things too!




Penis Awareness Month
05:00:27 - Apr 08 2012
Times Read: 344


Penis Fact of the Day:


Regular penile exercise is essential to good penis health. Having regular erections serves a purpose, other than public embarrassment in high school.

To maintain a healthy tone, the smooth muscle of the penis must be periodically enriched with oxygen by the rush of blood that engorges the penis and makes it erect. If a guy is physically able to get erect, but never has erections during the day - maybe he finds himself in very un-erotic circumstances for a long time - he needn't worry. The brain has an automatic penis maintenance function built in.

Impulses from the brain cause erections during the dreaming phase of sleep, called the REM phase. It doesn't matter if you're having a hot sex dream or a zombie apocalypse nightmare -- your penis gets hard during that period of the sleep cycle.

Thus, men often have "morning wood" when they wake up during this sleep phase.

And this has been your penis fact of the day!

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

05:17:08
Apr 08 2012

I constantly wake up with my "hand down my pants". What does that mean?



Profile for birra
birra

05:20:34
Apr 08 2012

It means you're missing my pants...



Profile for sahahria
sahahria

05:38:30
Apr 08 2012

O.O Oh GAWD. Do I have to bring depends for when I visit?



Profile for CyanideSoulja
CyanideSoulja

14:51:28
Apr 08 2012

Zombie Apocalypse + morning wood

idk about you man but i dont think id have it any other way




Penis Awareness Month
04:23:07 - Apr 07 2012
Times Read: 383


Today in Penis History:


Today in 1501, the artist Michelangelo began work on the sculpture of David, and was almost immediately faced the the dilemma: how big should his penis be?

Because, after all, once you've chiseled off too much, it's too late. You can't put it back on.

Which was exactly what Michelangelo did. So it was determined David would be a grower, not a shower. And thus, the statue of David looks to have an embarrassingly diminutive penis.

Happy Penis Awareness Month!



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Profile for atyourwindow
atyourwindow

11:02:19
Apr 07 2012

Happy Penis Awareness Month Birra! :)



Profile for deathnitegrl
deathnitegrl

14:11:09
Apr 07 2012

penis art



Profile for Requiem
Requiem

15:30:26
Apr 07 2012

... I never really thought the penis on the statue was "small." Just flaccid. :;shrug::



Profile for birra
birra

19:00:44
Apr 07 2012

Well, you're right Req, it is just flaccid. However, there are generally 2 types of flaccid states - showers and growers. With showers (show - ers) the penis is usually close to its erect length when flaccid. Growers tend to be much smaller when flaccid than when erect. On average, both types are about the same length when erect, so it doesn't matter, growers just look a lot smaller when flaccid.



Profile for PandorasBx
PandorasBx

19:06:05
Apr 07 2012

Unfortunately I've seen a few "Davids" in my time *sighs*.




Penis Awareness Month
03:40:15 - Apr 06 2012
Times Read: 403


Fun Fact of the Day for Penis Awareness Month


Between 1856 and 1932, the U.S. Patent Office, awarded 33 patents to inventors of anti-masturbation devices for men. Most of these were not only ridiculous, but dangerous and inhumane. Some examples are:

The Bowen Device- This consisted of a short metal sheath that the penis was placed into, and then secured via clips and wires to the wearer's pubic hair. Any spontaneous erection would have to... be... dealt with before the screaming got too loud.

The Jugum Penis- Originally seen in the Victorian Era, doctors in Boston re-popularized this device in the 1950s. A metal, spike lined ring would be worn around the penis and clamped on. An erection would cause the penis to grow into the spikes. Think... penile bear trap. The purpose of this device was to stop nocturnal emissions, night time self-gratification and hopefully the wearer wouldn't experience frequent morning wood...

Stephenson Spermatic Truss- Patented in 1876, this device placed the penis in a pouch, and then stretched and tied down between the legs, which made erection impossible. Any erection would drive the penis against painful spikes.

Barbaric? Yes. Completely impractical? Of course. Did they stop masturbation? The prevalence of internet porn would suggest we got past it...

And this has been today's fun penis fact of the day!


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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

04:17:19
Apr 06 2012

What exactly is so WRONG about semen encrusted sheets?!? It's not like these inventors had to wash them. We have women for that. That is why God put them on this green earth.



Profile for birra
birra

13:11:14
Apr 06 2012

No, no... protect the sheets. That's what gym socks are for...



Profile for CyanideSoulja
CyanideSoulja

12:27:15
Apr 07 2012

this was certainly an amusing read.



Profile for deathnitegrl
deathnitegrl

14:11:57
Apr 07 2012

ouch




Penis Awareness Month
04:01:57 - Apr 05 2012
Times Read: 423


Fun Fact of the Day for Penis Awareness Month


In the town of Tyrnavo Larissa in Greece, annually they have the Phallus Festival. This is a tradition that dates back thousands of years, and includes a Penis Parade, complete with gigantic phallic parade floats.

The parade is traditionally held on the 41st day prior to the Greek Orthodox Easter to welcome in the period of lent.

According to history, the first parades were just a parade of the townsmen waiving carrots and cucumbers in the air while singing songs about penises. Yes, of course, they would be drunk. Duh. However, the parade was only for non-virginal men - you had to be experienced with your dick to participate.

I prefer the idea of giving beads to women that flash their breasts to welcome in lent, but that's just me...

The Phallus Festival also includes a penis dance, which is similar to a May Pole dance, but the pole in this case represents... well.... the penis, and the ribbons represent our ties to the penis as part of the life giving process.

In more recent years, the commercialization of the festival has led to the selling of penis toys... not the kind that most women have in their night stand however. These are more "kid friendly" toys such as penis squirt guns, penis whistles, penis candy and... wait... this is actually starting to sound like the world's largest bachelorette party...

Regardless of how strange this may sound, the festival attracts thousand of visitors each year from all over the world, to celebrate the wonders of the penis!

And this has been today's fun fact - Happy Penis Awareness Month!

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

04:19:26
Apr 05 2012

Kid friendly toys like penis whistles. For sure.



Profile for birra
birra

04:35:31
Apr 05 2012

A penis rape whistle: for safety with a huge ironic twist...



Profile for ThePinja
ThePinja

08:25:42
Apr 05 2012

Yet, another thing that makes the Japanese and the Grecian so very similar.



Profile for Isis101
Isis101

23:30:08
Apr 05 2012

I just love it when I learn something new everyday!



Profile for RedQueen
RedQueen

04:53:27
Apr 07 2012

Gots me my own set of Mardi Gras beads, yes I do...



Profile for deathnitegrl
deathnitegrl

14:13:48
Apr 07 2012

PENIS!




Penis Awareness Month
03:55:22 - Apr 04 2012
Times Read: 455


Fun Fact of the Day for Penis Awareness Month


In an effort to find a way to stop men from masturbating, health food expert* and certified nut job, Sylvester Graham, sought to develop a food that would curb a man's sexual appetite. His theory was that eating something bland and distasteful would curtail a man's passion and arousal, and therefore end his urge to masturbate.

In 1837 Graham invented became more popularly known as the "Graham Cracker." Since then people have been enjoying this invention combined with marshmallows and chocolate bars, and getting laid on camping trips every since.

Which in turn has helped to curb the need to masturbate.

Well played, Mr. Graham... well played.

And this has been your Fun Penis Fact of the day!

*by expert we mean, he ate food and thought of himself as an authority to tell people what was good for them, even though most medical professionals and scientists at the time thought smoking cured stuff and was good for you too.

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

03:58:43
Apr 04 2012

I would not be surprised if someone said that they used to use X-Rays to get rid of erections.



Profile for xRosex
xRosex

04:01:46
Apr 04 2012

I read something similar about corn flakes.



Profile for Isis101
Isis101

04:05:43
Apr 04 2012

Mr Graham really fucked up on this.
(And for the record, I want men to keep on masturbating).



Profile for birra
birra

04:07:29
Apr 04 2012

Actually, I believe Dr. Kellogg developed Corn Flakes to be a sort of cure-all super food.

I also believe Dr. Kellogg's eccentricity was documented by the movie, The Road to Wellsville which was a good movie, if you've never seen it... Anthony Hopkins, Matthew Broderick, Dana Carvey...



Profile for birra
birra

04:08:22
Apr 04 2012

And... Isis, may I ask why you want men to keep masturbating?



Profile for Isis101
Isis101

23:33:34
Apr 05 2012

I never saw the film, but I'm aware of it.

As for me wanting men to keep on masturbating...when women 'have a headache' you can then tend to your business without bothering anyone else.
Another reason is that I like to watch.



Profile for birra
birra

04:11:44
Apr 06 2012

...allllllrightythen. :)



Profile for CyanideSoulja
CyanideSoulja

12:31:17
Apr 07 2012

you are full of random facts that make me chuckle the comments do as well thanks for the laugh -nods-




Penis Awareness Month
01:20:38 - Apr 03 2012
Times Read: 482


This Day in Penis History:

On April 2, 1613, Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon arrives to North America for the first time. Landing near present day St. Augustine, Florida, de Leon discovers* Florida - North America's Penis.

It is often theorized that Florida is hit by so many hurricanes each year because America's wang is dirty, and the Earth is obligated to wash it.

Ponce de Leon is famous for his quest to find the fountain of youth, but his exploration days were cut short when he died from a mortal wound suffered when Native Americans attacked his crew on a subsequent trip to Florida in 1521.

*discovered in this case means, if you ignore the thousands of Native Americans that had been living there for over 15,000 years...

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Profile for bloodredatrophy15
bloodredatrophy15

01:26:40
Apr 03 2012

XD



Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

01:27:46
Apr 03 2012

HAHAHA

Talk about irony. Looking for the fountain of youth and finding America's penis.



Profile for birra
birra

02:41:59
Apr 03 2012

Crap. I typoed the date. It is 1513 when this happened...... not 1613.

Can you believe we're coming up on the 500 year anniversary of this in just one more year. It seems like just yesterday when the white man started slaughtering the native hordes in genocidal fashion.... where does the time go?



Profile for RedQueen
RedQueen

18:04:45
Apr 03 2012

And every year they have a parade in his honor which the local Native population causes a huge stink about- ain't history grand...




Penis Awareness Month
16:58:51 - Apr 01 2012
Times Read: 516


This Day in Penis History:

While on the set of the movie, Can I Do it Until I Need Glasses? legendary actor Ron Jeremy was startled by a stage hand that had accidentally dropped a stage light while performing a repair. When Jeremy turned suddenly, he managed to knock a coffee carafe off of the actors buffet table that was unfortunately right about waist height. The resulting spill ended the porn career of actress Ina Gould, who was then forced to take less impressive rolls in shows like Baretta and Real Genius.

Real Vampires love Vampire Rave
Ron Jeremy


From that day on, Jeremy was prohibited by the studios to meet with his fluffer prior to the cast breakfast.

And that is today's edition of This Day in Penis History!

Happy Penis Awareness Month!

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Profile for birra
birra

17:10:13
Apr 01 2012

Sorry, I know I lost a comment. I realized I might have had some factual inaccuracies of the movies Ina Gould was in....



Profile for queenofchaos
queenofchaos

05:06:26
Apr 02 2012

LOL



Profile for Seshat
Seshat

04:04:39
Apr 04 2012

Swing. Too funny.



Profile for deathnitegrl
deathnitegrl

14:15:02
Apr 07 2012

oh so that's how a porn star looks like





15:53:59 - Apr 01 2012
Times Read: 525


I'm finding I have less and less time for this website these days. Multiple jobs every day, so many other responsibilities. It isn't like the days when I would travel and spend 45 minutes here, then a couple hours there killing time in a hotel or airport.

Now my life is full. Very full and very stressful.

It just doesn't fit as well anymore.

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Profile for Morrigon
Morrigon

16:07:45
Apr 01 2012

- he said as he logged on and blogged something :p

VR isn't a requirement or a duty. Just visit when you want to.



Profile for RedQueen
RedQueen

18:19:22
Apr 01 2012

I agree- we're glad to have you when you're here, sugar- both of you.



Profile for sahahria
sahahria

17:22:51
Apr 03 2012

What ^they^ said.




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[ Au ][ O ][ He ][ Ar ][ CH3CH2OH ]


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